PENS!!!

In my lifetime, Iv bought a million Pens.
Iv bought multi packs and posh Biros in an assortment of many colours.
Today I get my forms to apply for pass ports for the sprogs.
Form says to fill it out in black ink only.  Ok, not a problem, I bought a brand new pack of 10 pens and I put them over on the computer table for safe keeping. Only when I go to the table, there's no pens. There's loads of other crap on there though but not a pen to be seen.
Nae problemo, there's some pens in the kitchen draw, I'll just go and get one of those. NOPE!! no pens there either.
Hmmmm thinks I. Im slowly running out of options as to where all my pens could be hiding. I check all the obvious places and some not so obvious ones, all with no luck.
Not a pen in sight.
I go up to my room and have a good rummage about. AHA!! a PEN!!! YAY. . . .but then NO!!!! its BLUE and not the required black and if that wasnt enough, IT DOESNT WORK!!!!!
I raid sprogs rooms. find a vast selection of half eaten crayons and dried out felts but no pens!!

Giving up, I decide I will call into the shops later.



Later, Drop C off at her Brownies meet and call into the shop to buy a black pen.
I look and I find :
Felt tipped pens
Crayons
pencils
but NO pens!!!  sob sob :(
I GIVE UP!!!! lol
Who'd have thought obtaining a black pen would be so damn difficult?
So as a desperate measure, I ask a friend who always has everything but the kitchen sink with him when out. and YES he has a black pen that works!!!! GREAT!!
Happily I borrow the pen and carry it in my coat pocket which is zipped up to make sure I dont lose it.
I get home and into my house only to find on the floor behind the front door a BLACK PEN!! trying to escape!!

So what I wanna know is, WHERE DO ALL THE PENS VANISH TO??